It is rare that I am away from Solomon longer than a minute to step into the other room. Every now and then I leave him with John or our parents for about 2 hours to have a date or attend a womens group at church. Every time I return and I see him, my heart skips a beat. You would think I had been gone for days. I just hold him or look at him in awe as my heart swells to a size I didn’t know was possible.
Sometimes, I hold him and close my eyes while trying to burn this moment in my mind forever. I think, I never want this moment to end. I fight back tears thinking this will all pass too soon. I never want to let him go. I never want him to let me go. It usually doesn’t take long for him to squirm and I’m forced to let him go. I think, just a minute longer, but it’s too late, the moment is gone and his attention has already been diverted. He doesn’t know how much he means to me, he only knows he needs me. He doesn’t know that I am always waiting for the next moment.
The moment he is out of my arms, I see the resemblance to my relationship with God, and then I can’t fight the tears back any longer.
Remember the song “A Little Longer” sung by Jenn Johnson? In the song, she is asking what she can do for Lord, she will dance for him, sing for him, anything, just tell her what she can do and she will do it, and this is the Lord’s response.
"You… don’t have to do a thing
Just simply be with me and let those things go
'Cause they can wait another minute
Wait… this moment is too sweet
Would you please stay here with Me
And love on Me a little longer”
This is the blessing a child brings, the understanding of the Father’s heart towards you. As a mom, the most precious thing is to feel loved on by the one your heart bleeds for (at least that’s how it feels sometimes). I long for those moments and try to hold on as long as I can when they come, I never want them to end. How much more does my heavenly Father long for me to come and love on Him? How much more everlasting love does He have for me? How much bigger does His heart swell at the sight of me? How often does He wait, patiently, for me to turn my affection towards Him? How often do I cut our moments short because my attention has been diverted? I can’t even begin to describe how much my body aches at the literal feeling of love for my son, and I know that is not even a fraction of how God loves and longs for me.
I desire to be the daughter who turns the moment my Father whispers my name. To sit at His feet and lavish my love and affection on Him. There is no greater place to be than in the arms of my Father, to feel the warmth of His breath and the steady rythmn of His heart. It beats for me. I long to truely know Him. To fully desire Him. I don’t want fleeting moments to pass me by. I want to reside in a moment with Him.